Posts Categorized: Sense of Space

A successful relationship needs to be built on balance and equality. Having only one night stand next to the bed is supportive of little more than a one-night stand. In narrow rooms this can be difficult, but this set-up is ideal, as it gives each person a place to put their keys, wallet, phone, or other belongings before going to sleep. It is literally a support structure for each person. If one person has this but not the other, it speaks to a lack of equality in the relationship. Even if you are single, you should still have two side tables because this is preparing you to welcome someone else into that space. Each one should have a matching lamp, which represents each partner having a shared point of view.

What you see, you become. All of my single female clients who were looking for a partner have had images of single women all over their living space – anywhere from as few as one image (but a big one) to 30 or 40 in a small apartment! While there might be admirable qualities in these women – strong, independant, fashionable – seeing those qualities in a *single* woman without any signs of coupling reinforces the belief that a woman cannot have those characteristics while in a relationship. I have had clients describe those images as ‘goddesses’ – but they were never shown with ‘gods’, nor were there any male mortals worthy of them to be found.

Of course one can have a level of certainty, presence, style, and elegance while also being in a relationship – but it is important to have that demonstrated throughout the space. Images of Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, or other iconic females only serves to anchor the mindset of a hard-to get beautiful woman.

Artwork that shows happy, loving couples is important if you are looking to attract a partner. If you don’t like such artwork, even images of two flowers, two trees, or two animals together can help prepare your consciousness for the act of partnering.

You might like the images of these single women and find them attractive – but if you don’t enjoy the consequences of being single, then you need to reconsider whether you really do like them.

Air is invisible and we all need it to survive, so anything that stimulates its movement and makes us aware of its presence is considered auspicious. Wind chimes brighten the environment through sound and movement, making sense-able the otherwise intangible and bringing to the foreground the often unconsidered forces that support us in life.

Making the invisible tangible is the essence of manifestation – that’s why wind chimes are considered symbolic of wealth. Hang them outdoors or near a window in the rear left area of your home (when looking into the home from the front door) or the front right – or outdoors next to the front door. Don’t be a Feng Shui Fashion Victim by hanging them in hallways or in a windowless area (an attractive bell is another story) – put the chime somewhere where it can express itself naturally and it no longer speaks of wasted potential.

The old adage of ‘location, location, location’ for business success applies to how you orient yourself inside your work space too. There’s a reason cowboys in the Wild West didn’t want to sit with their backs to the door, something apparently considered by mafia bosses: you leave yourself open to being backstabbed. You will never see successful company presidents sitting with their desk up against a wall and their back to the door – a position that translates into feeling overwhelmed, unprepared for what is coming your way (because you can’t see it), and feeling bent out of shape when interruptions present themselves.

By contrast, the ‘executive position’ or ‘seat of power’ – with the desk facing into the room and its occupant facing the door, ideally with a windowless wall behind them – supports clear vision of approaching circumstances (such as anyone entering your space), a sense of support (from the wall behind), and the ability to sustain connection to work and changing circumstances (looking at your desk while being aware when someone comes into the room). Your nervous system is calmer and you can therefore focus much more clearly when your body is aware that no potential threats can approach you from behind.

If you are unable to sit in this position, do your best to get a high-backed chair for support and a reflective object in front of you so that you can catch glimpses of what is happening behind you.

Feng Shui is in popular culture sometimes portrayed as a superficial and superstitious practice of placing mirrors and various trinkets to bring about good luck. But there is far more depth to the practice than the few diluted and misrepresented quick-fix ideas that have circulated amidst the general populace. Let’s examine a few of the tools often overused and misused in Feng Shui.

Bagua Mirrors

These 8-sided wooden blocks with a round mirror in the centre are said to deflect negative energy when placed above a door. I wonder about the worldview of those that feel that they need to ‘protect’ themselves from any potential ‘negative’ energy rather than stimulating and cultivating more nurturing energy. These mirrors are aggressive and basically concentrate the energy of the eight areas of the bagua into the mirror to ‘attack’ anyone or anything that is in front of it or that moves by it, be it positive or negative. I not only don’t recommend these objects, I suggest you get rid of them if you have any. Plants, chimes, art, and other uplifting and colourful objects can be used to appropriately balance the energy of an entrance. Use Feng Shui to create a space that has inherent balance and peace rather than as a way to ‘protect’ from ‘harm’.

Faceted Crystals

A lot of Feng Shui books suggest placing faceted crystals hung from a string in a variety of locations – at the end of a hallway, at the base of a staircase, above a toilet – to slow down or cleanse energy. While the movement and multi-sided nature of these crystals can indeed accomplish this, it is important to recognize that crystals function at their best when light shines through them. Placing them elsewhere sets a tone of wasted potential. If you want to fit into the best circumstances in your life, everything in your space should be optimized as well. Put these crystals in sunny windows where they will bring moving rainbows into an otherwise static space. I don’t suggest hanging anything above in the air above a toilet; however, artwork on the wall above the tank draws your attention (and therefore energy) upwards. At the end of a hallway or bottom of a staircase, a light-toned mat or area rug or expansive artwork can down any excessive energy flow more effectively than a hanging crystal. 

Mirrors opposite beds

Feng Shui lore speaks of not placing a mirror opposite your bed lest your spirit awaken in the middle of the night and surprise itself. I’m not clear why your higher consciousness would be startled by seeing itself – this seems to be yet another example of traditional practitioners communicating concepts through a colourful historical tale – yet there is some truth to the practice of which this story speaks. The fact of the matter is that you might startle yourself with the mirror: as you move in the middle of the night, there is a reflection of that movement in another part of that room, and as your cognition is not as clear when sleeping or awakening from a slumber, it is easy to think that something is moving elsewhere in the room, which can indeed be unsettling. Because you want bedrooms to be as restful as possible, they should be less stimulating during sleeping hours – but mirrors are stimulating by nature. I suggest having any mirrors either placed so they do not reflect the bed from the perspective of whoever is sleeping there or covered at night. If you have closeted mirror doors, you can place a curtain rod above them and have curtains that you close when sleeping and then open during your waking hours. 

With all the focus put on creative designs for homes, work spaces are often overlooked. The functional needs of an office often leads to neglecting the many potential options for streamlining it both aesthetically and functionally. I like to put the ‘function’ in Feng Shui and ensure that a space is aligned decoratively and pratically. When an office feels ‘right’, you can work with greater efficiency and calm.

The old adage of ‘location, location, location’ for business success applies to how you orient yourself inside your work space too. There’s a reason cowboys in the Wild West didn’t want to sit with their backs to the door, something apparently considered by today’s mafia bosses: you leave yourself open to being backstabbed. You will never see a successful company president sitting with their desk up against a wall and their back to the door; such a position translates into feeling overwhelmed, unprepared for what is coming your way (because you can’t see it), and feeling bent out of shape when interruptions present themselves.

By contrast, the ‘executive position’ or ‘seat of power’ – with the desk facing into the room and its occupant facing the door, ideally with a windowless wall behind them – supports clear vision of approaching circumstances (ie anyone entering your space), a sense of support (from the wall behind), and the ability to sustain connection to work and changing circumstances (looking at your desk while being aware when someone comes into the room). Your nervous system is calmer and you can therefore focus much more clearly when your body is aware that no potential threats can approach you from behind. If you are unable to sit in this position, do your best to get a high-backed chair for support and a reflective object in front of you so that you can catch glimpses of what is happening behind you.

There’s a reason businesses and companies can be referred to as ‘organizations’ – how they are structured for efficiency can determine their success. Similarly, the space you work in needs to be well organized if you are to do your job well. (This shouldn’t be a surprise, but if you saw some of the offices I see…) It is important that you have easy access to what you need to do your job well. If your papers are a mess or you can’t find your stapler, you will subconsciously want to avoid any tasks involving those items. If you have to bend uncomfortably to reach for certain items, that physical awkwardness will leave you more inclined to go grab a coffee than to do your job. Keep in mind that cluttered surfaces represent blocked creativity that can prevent you from reaching your desired destinations. Create a system for keeping paper under control: this means daily and weekly organization time, but it will save you time in the long run. I also suggest avoiding trays on which papers are kept horizontal, as the single paper on top obscures the rest, which is incredibly inefficient. A compact box with hanging files is much more practical, making it possible to create many sub-categories and easily put your hands on what you need.

Office spaces generally use fluorescent bulbs – usually to save money – yet these light sources are counterproductive in other ways. They are not full-spectrum and therefore don’t cast a shadow, thus limiting depth perception; this translates into a reduced capacity to think deeply and see long-term. While it may be that some old-school companies prefer that employees be less observant and more obedient, I believe that empowering workers to see and think to their full capacity will serve everyone’s best interests. If you cannot change the primary lighting sources in your office or work space at home, consider adding a small lamp on your desk so that you can illuminate your projects with a more integrated source of light.

Adding colour – there is a great variety of file folders and other organizational tools in myriad hues – will help to bring a fuller spectrum of possibility in your work space. While functionality is of prime importance, a workplace that is devoid of personal touches will prevent employees from putting their heart into their job. However, how you do this is important. There are too many motivational posters with insipid quotes that are meant to inspire you, but they reek of corporate servitude and sentiment, while on the other end of the spectrum, images of beaches or other exotic destinations where you are not currently sitting do little to encourage you to be present with the tasks at hand. It has been found that employees who have a say in decorating their spaces are far more productive and motivated, so aim to find a balance with inspiring images that do not necessarily involve sunny destinations.

May your workspace inspire you to do and be your best in all you do.

The proliferation of New Age books, articles, and DVDs have brought increased awareness to how you can focus your mind to change your thought patterns and thus impact your reality. The use of affirmations – ‘positive’ statements that reflect a supportive way of thinking and being – is one commonly applied way to do so. There are many greeting cards and posters with motivational sayings that are now commonly seen framed in offices and homes. While there is no doubt that what you think impacts your experience, there can be challenges with how affirmations are commonly used that impacts their effectiveness.

The first issue with affirmations is that the specific use of language, while beneficial in terms of precision, can also exclude important aspects of the human experience. Spiritual reality is timeless, yet language is usually set on a past-present-future continuum which can run counter to this. In English, we don’t speak much in the present tense unless we are talking about habits (‘I eat cookies’ is not about what you are doing now but speaks to a habitual action); it is in fact the present continuous tense which speaks to events happening now. The challenge is that such sentences speaking to conditions that are NOT our current experience register in our consciousness as a lie. Saying “I am working in the perfect job” when you are not doing so only helps raise awareness of your feelings of not working in the perfect job; while there can be benefits to that process, the fact that you don’t really believe what you are saying doesn’t really help you attract ideal work into your life.

The choice of words in many affirmations can point to attractive concepts that are nevertheless not supportive. A popular one I’ve seen is Emily Dickinson’s quote “Dwell In Possibility”. Why would you want to do that? Don’t you want to get things done? Possibilities are great to explore, but if you want to take something from the world of possibility and then manifest something, you cannot continue to dwell in possibility. Other affirmations that use the imperative tense can also have unintended consequences, such as “Forgive” or “Do what you love”. The problem when faced with an ‘order’ like this (this imperative verb tense is telling you to do something) is that we often tend to resist (no one likes being told what to do). Additionally, this statement is affirming that we are not already doing this. If you were forgiving people in your life, would you need to post a statement telling you to do so? No – you would just be doing it!

So unfortunately affirmations can create the exact opposite from the intended consequences for which they are used. Their linguistic framework means the access point to our consciousness is restricted to mental language, which ties in with our belief system – a key source of our limiting concepts. While words can help us over time to make shifts to broader emotional, spiritual, and physical states, they will not necessarily do so.

On the other hand, Feng Shui works by using subliminal affirmations in our surroundings: objects and images that create connections with desired states of being and situations. If a picture is worth a thousand words, the associations created from environmental stimuli can go a lot further than even the best-chosen words. Additionally, the colours, forms, and other connections created by these objects can work in subtler ways by bypassing the belief system’s linguistic center and stimulating an emotional state that is consistent with the spiritual state we are looking to experience. A picture of a relaxing setting could work better than a poster that has words about being calm; an image of a person meditating is more powerful than something that says ‘Turn Inward’ or ‘Trust Yourself’.

I had one client who had post-it notes all over his home telling him what he should be doing and believing. There were so many everywhere that it created a real feeling of mental busy-ness and confusion. I had him take them all down so that we could focus on placing larger supportive images around him. Relaxing art around his work station helped him to feel more grounded, and an image of him performing (he is a musician) right near the door supported him going into the world to do his craft. Sure enough, that night he gave one of his best performances in years.

If you are going to use artwork that includes words, be mindful of what is being said. Often a single word – ideally referring to a state of being, like ‘Delight’ or ‘Presence’ – can work, but it’s better not to use single-word verbs like ‘Trust’ or ‘Believe’, as these imply that you are not already doing that. Sentences are best chosen with caution. Ensure that the image catches your eye more than the text and helps you to feel how you want to feel both now and in the future.

May your home speak to you in the layered languages of your experience.

The world is a very different place than it was thousands of years ago when Feng Shui principles were first observed. There was no electricity in homes, nor satellites in space, mobile phones, or Internet (surely I’m not the only one who remembers life before the Internet…). While some manmade inventions can create some challenges from an energetic perspective, there are some technological advances that can help make our living in box-like spaces more convenient – provided they are used in a balanced way.

Over the last decade, digital technology has changed how we store and use photos and music. While I am not 100% convinced that all of this is progress – analogue recordings have a richness that is lacking from digital formats, and real photos don’t pixelate faces and sunsets – the storage and functional benefits can be tremendous. It is possible to have your music collection take up far less physical space and be more immediately accessible, while photos can be running through a digital photo frame, saving on space while generating a flow of memories that can bring great energetic support in a small space.

It is important to use new formats well: ensure that you are not simply storing thousands of digital photographs without looking at them (something pretty much everyone is guilty of). Make a regular habit of loading a new selection of photos into a digital frame – a few old favourites as well as new ones – so that your nervous system isn’t being imprinted by the same memories all the time, something that was always a challenge with expensive framed photographs, which tended to stay in place for too many years. Regularly create new playlists for music to shake things up a bit, being sure to revisit some old favourites while adding new acquisitions to the mix. Your brain will benefit from hearing varied combinations of old and new, enabling you to bridge different parts of your life into your present experience and creating a new soundtrack to your current life scenes.

The e-book phenomenon has its advantages too: books and magazines can be a major source of clutter and energetic stagnation, whereas a single reader can hold a massive number of volumes. This is particularly helpful when traveling, when space is at a real premium, or if living in cramped quarters. I enjoy having interior design magazines as reference, and yet they take up too much space for the amount of time that I might look at them; digital technology can solve that issue (no pun intended). The same for my Harry Potter collection: as much as I loved the physical books and the experience of reading them, I will not reread them often enough to warrant the space they take up… but the digital format takes care of that.

The challenge in all of these is that there is a lack of connection to the ‘analogue’ physical world to which we more deeply belong. Each book has its unique feeling, each record album had its cover and the disc had its texture, and physical contact with a photograph was part of the experience. Nowadays, each email looks the same, lacking the character and individual handwriting of the person who wrote it, unlike with a personal letter; turning the page of an actual book to see what is on the next page is a very different experience when it’s made of real paper, as opposed to always touching the same screen and holding the same device.

While the Feng Shui advantages that these technological developments bring are evident, a home can feel rather soulless when everything is electronic. Aim to bring balance by complementing the old with the new. Colourful art and a few framed photos can add some dimension to your space while digital photos circulate on a frame. An analogue amp can help your digital music sound warmer than it might otherwise (I have my iPad playing through an antique gramophone horn and have purchased an amp that uses tubes). Having some key books in your physical surroundings helps to communicate the ideas and themes that are important to you – just keep the numbers under control. And keep plants, candles, and other more ‘primitive’ natural objects near your electronic devices (but not so near that water or fire threaten electrocution or damage!) to bring to your home a more seamless fusion of manmade and environmentally balancing elements.

May you and your home gracefully balance technology with nature.

Mirrors are powerful objects and are often misused in design and Feng Shui. While it is true that they can expand a space and circulate energy, they are not the only things that can do so, and there are important guidelines that should be followed if they are to enhance rather than compromise the energy of a space.

Because mirrors literally provide us with a self image (literally), having an accurate reflection of our appearance is important. Surfaces should be clean in order to see yourself clearly, and the height and framing of the mirror should be appropriate to your body size. If you need to hunch down to have your head fully reflected, you may be experiencing less self-confidence than you would like (as well as headaches). Similarly, long narrow mirrors – which are regrettably very common – can lead to doubting one’s capacity to take up space and be fully present. I’ve worked with a number of people with such mirrors suffering from eating disorders: they saw themselves needing to ‘fit in’ to a smaller space. All of these clients saw a positive change in their eating habits when they bought wider, more inclusive mirrors.

Smaller, head-only mirrors are not recommended. They can keep us in our heads and less connected to the bigger picture. Women in particular should absolutely ensure that mirrors include their entire torso so as not to cut off their bust. Mirrors that are divided up (as the one in the image above) are also not recommended, as they cut up one’s image. Tiny decorative mirrors that are only inches wide must be avoided at all costs: every client I’ve worked with who had these was experiencing significant psychological distress, as though being cut down emotionally. If you own these small mirrors, lay them horizontally on a table or cabinet and use them as a tray for objects such as candles, perfume bottles, or jewerly. (And never use those so-called ‘Feng Shui’ mirrors sold to be put above your front door.)

Where you place a mirror in the home is equally important. Historically, Feng Shui lore has spoken to not having a mirror in the bedroom because your spirit would be afraid seeing itself at night. This rather colourful tale obscures a more logical explanation: because mirrors reflect anything opposite them, even if it is dark, movement in one part of the room can create the illusion of motion elsewhere. This means that a twinkle of light from the window or the slightest movement in the bed can make it appear as though something is moving in the mirror, causing your nervous system to tune into the potential threat of an intruder and thereby limiting your capacity to fully relax and deeply rest.

While it obviously makes sense to have a mirror in a bedroom when you can get dressed to see how you look (and many might want it for the reverse of these proceedings), ensuring that the bed itself is not reflected will help you get a better sleep. I am not exaggerating when I say that 100% of my clients with difficulty sleeping who had a mirror reflecting the bed noticed an immediate improvement when moving the mirror or covering it up at night. If you have mirrored closet doors (like I do), you can set up a curtain rod with curtains that you draw at night to cover the mirror while you sleep (like I do), which gives the option of having the mirrors be more active during daylight hours. Mirrors above the headboard are not recommended (anything heavy in that position will keep your nervous system on high alert) and mirrors on the ceiling might be more appropriate in Las Vegas or love hotels, where sleeping is less of a priority.

Another point about mirrors is to ensure that whatever they reflect is something that you like. Because mirrors create the illusion of duplication, whatever is being doubled should ideally be something you want more of as opposed to something you don’t. Position them to reflect dining tables (doubling the food on your table but not your waistline) or favourite works of art or collections, while aiming not to duplicate laundry baskets, garbage cans, or piles of clutter.

You should avoid placing mirrors opposite other mirrors: this creates a kind of ‘hall of mirrors’ effect, where you seem to be caught in the middle of a neverending tunnel. This arrangement can lead to feeling that there is never any end in sight to whatever is going on in your life. Additionally, a mirror opposite the front door, while said in classical Feng Shui to bounce energy out the door, is indeed not very auspicious: it can surprise you because of the sudden movement reflected in the home as soon as you enter, in addition to drawing your attention to what is behind you outside the home rather than welcoming you more fully into your space.

Because mirrors provide an opportunity for reflection (pun intended), too many of them can lead to self-consciousness and overthinking. More than one mirror on the same wall can bring about second-guessing, whereas multiple mirrors on different walls in the same room can be disorienting and confusing. Each room really doesn’t need more than one, and too many in a home in general can make you too self-conscious about your appearance.

May everything reflected around you bring you joy.